I suppose it's possible to have a successful family and a negative attitude at the same time.
If you have decent communication skills and a refusal to consider divorce you can stay married for years and have a decent relationship with your kids, but it doesn't happen very often, and it takes way too much work. Besides, if I celebrate my 75th wedding anniversary in fairly good health with all my children present but I'm a miserable old man - have I really been that successful?
But what if I decide to maintain a positive attitude in addition to becoming a better man, husband, and father?
Even if I struggle a bit with my health, have an occasional argument with my wife, and yell at my kids once in awhile, I'll still have an easier time earning their respect and increasing my ability to influence their lives.
Not sure where I heard this story but........... "During his days as president, Thomas Jefferson and a group of companions were traveling across the country on horseback. They came to a river that had left its banks because of a recent downpour. The swollen river had washed the bridge away. Each rider was forced to ford the river on horseback, fighting for his life against the rapid currents. Each rider was threatened with the very real possibility of death, which caused a traveler who was not part of their group to step aside and watch. After several had plunged in and made it to the other side, the stranger asked President Jefferson if he would carry him across the river. The president agreed without hesitation. The man climbed on, and shortly thereafter the two of them made it safely to the other side. As the stranger slid off the back of the horse onto dry ground, one in the group asked him, "Tell me, why did you select the President to ask this favor of?" The man was shocked; admitting that he had no idea is was the president who had helped him. "All I know" he said, "is that on some of your faces was written the answer 'NO" and on some of them was the answer 'Yes'. His was a 'Yes' face."
Here are a few thoughts from one of my favorite authors John Maxwell on the importance of deciding to have and maintain a positive attitude.
- "...whether it's a doctor going into surgery, a coach readying his team for a game, a pastor preparing a sermon, or a businessperson negotiating for a big deal. The confident person increases his chances for success. The pessimist invites the negative outcome he expects."
- "When we interact with others, our attitudes often set the tone for how we treat each other. Smile at people when you meet them, and they often smile back. Act combative, and they are likely to snap back at you."
- "In today's competitive culture, everyone is looking for an edge - Possessing a great attitude is like having a secret weapon
- He who has so little knowledge of human nature as to seek happiness by changing anything but his own disposition will waste his life in fruitless efforts and multiply the grief which he purposes to remove." ~ Samuel Johnson
- The bottom line? Being positive with people prompts them to be positive with you - and individuals who interact well with others have a leg up on people who don't.
Take Action
Grow - Be a man! Take responsibility for your attitude and decide to develop the thinking skill of being intentionally positive. Sure it's hard but it can be done.
Connect - Begin looking for the best in your wife and kids. Take the time to point out the things you're noticing. Start making friends with positive people.
Lead - Be humble but confident in your interactions with your wife and kids. Turn off the T.V. for 15 minutes tonight and start a conversation about the benefits of being positive and the extra challenges that come from being negative. Don't allow the atmosphere to remain negative in your home.
Call me crazy, but when it comes to my family...I wanna be a certified "yes man"!
